IVF, Infertility, + Black Womanhood with my cousin, Porsha Glover | ep 14
Infertility and IVF already carry so much silence and shame—but in the Black community, that silence can feel even louder. We’re often expected to be strong, to keep going, to not “air our business”—and yet the grief, isolation, and emotional toll still hit just as hard, if not harder, when you don’t see your experience reflected around you.
That’s why this conversation means so much to me.
In this episode of a life differently, I sit down with my first cousin, Porsha Glover, as she opens up about her journey with infertility, IVF, and identity as a Black woman. We talk about womanhood, grief, and the hope it takes to keep going when motherhood doesn’t come easily. It’s a vulnerable, deeply personal conversation—one we don’t always have in our families, but one that deserves to be heard.
When the Dream Starts Young
From first grade, Porsha knew she wanted to be a mom.
While other kids dreamed of becoming astronauts or athletes, Porsha dreamed of twins—a boy and a girl. That clarity followed her for years, even when her irregular cycles hinted that becoming a mom might not be easy. Doctors flagged potential fertility challenges early on, but at 17 or 18, that warning felt distant.
Saying It Out Loud
By her twenties, Porsha was transparent in dating. She would tell partners upfront that she might have trouble conceiving. Some men responded with misplaced bravado (“I got super sperm”), but others, like her now-husband Tyler, took it seriously. Tyler's approach was calm, curious, and committed. He didn’t just listen—he read, researched, and learned alongside her.
The IVF Reality
After years of gynecological appointments, tests, and eventually surgery to remove her damaged fallopian tubes, IVF (in vitro fertilization) became the only viable path to pregnancy. The process was intense and invasive.
“Those shots took me down,” Porsha recalls.
Self-administered injections, sometimes multiple times a day, became the new normal. Tyler tried to help, but his gentle approach made it worse.
“You gotta stick it fast! Not slow like he was trying,” she laughed.
She also emphasized the mental toll.
“You have to hope, even when the odds feel like math you don't want to do. And when you lose embryos, it's not just a loss of cells—it’s a loss of potential, of possibility.”
The Hidden Cost of Hope
IVF is expensive—prohibitively so for many. Porsha is quick to call out the disparity.
“I know women who went through 10 rounds. I couldn't afford that. Most Black women I know can't afford that.”
Beyond cost, there’s the cultural silence.
In many Black families, fertility issues are rarely discussed. Women who struggled in previous generations were labeled barren and quietly pushed to the background. Porsha is determined to change that.
“Our aunties just took it. They didn’t ask questions. I wanted to ask all the questions.”
Joy That Costs Everything—And Is Worth It
Porsha has two children now. Her first successful embryo transfer gave her her son, lovingly nicknamed Deuce. Her second gave her her daughter, Thailynn, known in the family as “Queenie” for her resemblance to our late auntie.
When asked what she wants her kids to know, she doesn’t hesitate:
“We loved you before you had a face. We fought for you. If I had to do it all over again, I would. I’d give the shots, I’d walk on swollen feet, I’d do it all—just to hear you say, ‘I love you, Mommy.’”
Let Them Stay the Whole Day at Daycare
Parenthood has also taught her that balance is everything.
From learning to let go of guilt around full daycare days to protecting her peace like it's a full-time job, Porsha has grown into herself.
“I’m proud of my peace. I’m finally there. And I’ll cut anything or anyone off to keep it. Even Chinese food.”
A Love That Leads
Porsha beams when she talks about Tyler.
“He’s a quiet leader. A listener. And he’s got that old-school, fix-anything energy. TikTok educated but with no instructions needed.”
Their relationship, she shares, is built on balance.
“I used to lead everything. With him, I learned how to let someone lead me. And he never asked for it. He just showed me he could.”
Advice for Others on the Fertility Journey
Porsha’s wisdom hits hard, especially for anyone in the middle of it:
Your timeline is your timeline. Don't compare.
Faith without works is dead. Believe and act.
Let go of the shame. This path is valid.
Don’t let people’s ignorance be your burden.
And if the babies stay in daycare till close? They’re fine. You’re fine. Take care of you.
Final Word
Porsha’s story is a masterclass in vulnerability and voice. She doesn't share to be brave. She shares because she knows someone else is Googling late at night, trying to understand IVF shots, costs, timelines, and why it hasn’t happened yet. She's the person she needed and she wants to be that for someone else.
💬 Ready to Explore This More?
If you want to talk to Porsha or learn more about her IVF journey, you can connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
Listen to this episode of a life differently to hear the full conversation and personal stories on this topic. And if this resonated with you, let’s continue the conversation—share your thoughts with me on Instagram @alifedifferently.
Hey there, I’m Ronni
I help people unlearn, heal, and step into a life that’s actually theirs. Around here, we question the rules, embrace the magic, and just see what happens.
When I’m not talking manifestation, you’ll find me lost in a new oracle deck, junk journaling, crocheting, or crafting miniatures for my dollhouse.